Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
