If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
