i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
