It's like God shit irony all over that family
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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