So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
