remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
