She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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