I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
