but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
