What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
