Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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