Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
