how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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