Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
its not stalking. its research.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
