I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
