awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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