ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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