brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
40s are totally the cure
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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