HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't deserve a penis
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
