420 ftw
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
