it was like his penis was on wheels.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
