Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
