And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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