It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
