I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
