The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
