I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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