Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Where is the hickey?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
