Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
