i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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