this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
