Yo dont text me then not text me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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