she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
