Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
