whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
