Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
