And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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