I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
