Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No subtext here. People are naked.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The air was thick with penises
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
