please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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