I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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