i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize