Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
