so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
