im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
