YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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