ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
