For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
