i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
where does the pee come out of this thing
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
