if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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